Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i need to put some appletini on your dick
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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