my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
