A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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