what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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