my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
