So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Do vagina's smell?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
