Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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