they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
