ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
