hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
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Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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