Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
