i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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