I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
