Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize