What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I checked into jail on foursquare
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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