yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
