O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
