flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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