Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
