Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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