oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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