yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
