You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
