I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
