sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
