I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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