this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Girls should come with a carfax report
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
