we have pet lesbian snakes
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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