physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
