I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
