i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
