I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Soap is not a condiment
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
