so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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