No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
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she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
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Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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