He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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