There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
