Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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