Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
