dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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