I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
