I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
