yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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