I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
