Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
