She is in my trunk
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize