would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
