Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
