then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
