Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
A+ Viking dick
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
