Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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