At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
