Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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