K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
