the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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