FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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