Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
